First, I just want to start by saying Happy New Year! I know I am a few days late with the well-wishes but there were things that transpired which kept me from you all. Since writing is therapy, I do intend to share what it was hopefully in the future.
Though my New Year did not start as smoothly as I would have hoped, I am relieved that it showed me the truth and unmasked duplicity that may have been one of the causes of the spike in my anxiety for the latter part of 2018. I am learning to be thankful for the Ls I have been receiving lately. They will help me to be even more careful about the individuals I let into my space. I hope this year brings a level of discernment that I never had before.
The picture I chose for this post means so much to me. I found it on Pixabay and I think it represents the woman I want to become. I explained it to a friend as me learning to tame and accept the dark parts of me. Dark, as in my insecurities or just anything about me that I used as an excuse to beat myself up. I have learned that accepting them and working on them is a safer route to healing than rejecting them.
I also found out that I have so many people who believe in me and in the strength of my character. That meant so much to me over the last few days where I felt my own integrity was in question. It was tough having to choose between defending yourself or letting your name get tarnished. I would not wish that kind of betrayal on my worse enemy.
All in all, I will keep my head up as I continue this journey into 2019. I hope you all do the same. Focus on loving yourself and just being the best version of YOU that YOU can be. That is my plan. It is going to be tough but it is a path I am actually excited to take.