I have shitty taste in men.

 

 

 

 

As i am writing this, I’m currently sitting on the Killeen airport waiting for my flight back to Dallas. After that, I’ll be heading back to Nashville. I am not too excited about that but that’s for another blog post.

 

I found a picture on Pinterest and the message spoke to me. (See pic below).

 

I posted it on Instagram and from all the saves it got, I’m pretty sure it’s relatable. I feel it. I hope one day that can be a reality for me. To finally be with a man who gets it.

 

I am a single, 27 year old woman who has shitty taste in men. I blame no one else for that but myself. This is the main reason I am single now. I’ve met men who appeared genuine and turned out to be walking embodiments of Satan. I have no discernment but I pray for this everyday.

 

I have seen the signs though. I have begged for them. Pleaded and made promises to the Lord that I am sure I have broken. I do not trust myself. Always searching for the good in empty ass vessels has left me disheartened. No sir, I do not want to go out with you. No sir, we will not talk about my favorite position because I have no interest in having sex with you. No sir, I do not care what you want to do to me. I have absolutely no interest in anyone right now.

 

I am honestly tired. Tired to the point that sometimes I am very irritated when men engage me in meaningless conversation. Perhaps, I am jaded. I always felt like such a damn counselor, therapist and wise owl to the men I dated. It was nice at first but it’s been abused.

 

There were times I’ve said, “Damn, I wish I was the one with all the issues for once or the one who didn’t have her shit together.” It’s like none of them cared. And still, I blame no one else for this but myself. I haven’t forgiven myself.

 

I do get lonely and sometimes I trick myself into believing that I want something that is simply unattainable. I trick myself into believing that the man I want does not exist. I’m praying he does but the thing is, if he does exist, I am not sure what I could offer him.

 

Doing all the right things for the wrong people has me not wanting to do anything for anyone. I have gotten so damn lazy. I do not even try. I pray about that too.

 

I feel…Barren.

 

XoXo, LovePeaceMascara

7 thoughts on “I have shitty taste in men.

  1. It sounds like you have no defenses other than a reflex forming which will reject all men until you get too tired to reject more. Follow that cycle, and you’ll just be spinning your tires.

    If the men you are opting to give your time and energy to are using sex positions as casual conversation, it shouldn’t take much to navigate away from them before getting too involved.

    And, can they all really be so evil to be given one of the worst names? Or, is that just one of many exaggerations from an emotionally exhausted soul?

    Being a counselor/therapist is great. I’d certainly appreciate it. But, you have to find someone who can shoulder and counsel you right back. Give and take for sanity sake.

    And, we gotta maintain hope for better. We cannot let ourselves ever think the happiness we seek is unobtainable. If we give into such thoughts, we just sink into the abyss of hopelessness. And, it’s ever the challenge to dig our way back out of that pit. Why make it harder?

    As for not being sure what you can offer Mr Right, I think you are on the right track just by making some of these confessions. As I said, being a therapist can be great, especially when you learn to be in tune with your partner’s body, mind and heart. At least, I envision this sort of relationship; I haven’t obtained one, yet. And, I am not an avid hunter, sadly.

    Find a log to throw on the fire of hope and stoke that to keep your heart warm. You can rise above this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the problem is the men I am attracting. They always seem to need a counselor. And yes being one is great, but sometimes it would be nice to be the one who gets the same thing. Also, all of them weren’t Satan but yes, some of them do deserve the title 😂. I agree with some of the stuff you said though. Maybe one day I’ll be hopeful

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      1. Sooo, if I need a counselor, I should just stay away from you? 🙂

        It’s also possible that being a counselor comes with your astrological DNA/chemistry. If you were on a Star Trek star ship and told you were fit for a counselor position, would you turn it down hoping to be a security officer, instead? [Not sure where I am going with that analogy, but it came to mind.]

        Well, I’d be happy to counsel just about anyone, especially a pretty face. 🙂 But, I have my limits, too. And, when I counsel, I want to be sure who I counsel can nurse my busy head/heart, too. Otherwise, it drains my emotional and mental batteries which, presently, and probably for the past decade or so, have been on the low side. When I was a young teen, I used to spend most of my playground team counseling anyone who felt like sitting down to talk.

        Okay, stop repeating that name. It just gives evil power.

        No, only the freaks I went to high school with came close to deserving that name. But, even I decided not to give them it because I knew that’s what evil wanted. And, I am not catering to evil.

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