Originally written July, 22,2017
For the last 3 days I have cried. My heart is completely broken. Every time I say his name, the tears come flowing out. Chester Bennington of Linkin Park has died and I don’t seem to be processing it properly. I didn’t want it to be real. Not Chester. I didn’t believe it. I went to multiple websites and they all confirmed it to be true. I saw it on Instagram while I was sitting in my car at the gas station. I let out a scream. I was devastated.
I called my mom to give her the news. She said she had heard of the band but I don’t think she knew how that band had changed my life. “They helped me through some rough times,” I stated. I could barely get the words out. I was crying. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” I apologized, feeling slightly embarrassed. She let me know it was okay and understandable. Also she shed some knowledge with me. She told me that we never know what people are going through or what pain they’re in. My mom also mentioned that she saw a post on Facebook, which basically stated that if everyone were to put their problems in a pile, we would take our own problems and run with it.
I also texted the one friend who I knew would understand. She was very comforting. She reminded that when you relate to people’s music, they end up being very near and dear to your heart. Of course someone on Facebook commented on my status that they didn’t feel sorry for him because he left behind 6 kids. I didn’t respond. I don’t plan on ever responding. It doesn’t matter to me if anyone doesn’t feel sorry for him, let us who care about him mourn his death.
Through breakups, my bouts with depression or any time I was feeling down, Linkin Park’s music helped. They had a song for everything!!!! ‘Waiting for the end’ helped me through a breakup in 2011 that I thought would leave me paralyzed forever. That one song opened a floodgate of downloads to their old material and continued downloads of future material.
For a girl like me who felt out of place after moving to America in 2007, I found a friend in Chester. One more light is my favorite song off of their current album “One More Light” and every time I play it, I cannot stop crying. I overheard my coworkers talking about his death. Everyone was heartbroken. Scrolling through comments on Instagram and reading various news articles echoed the sentiment that Chester was so loved and will forever be loved. My heart goes out to his family, his friends, his band and his fans. I hope they are all able to find peace one day. Chester, thank you! If I didn’t have your music, I don’t know what would have happened to me. May your music continue to touch lives and inspire others. You will forever live on in our hearts and in our music.
A heartbroken fan.