Why I stopped clocking karma

 

 

I am not an employee of Karma

I used to be one of those people. You know, the ones who preach that Karma would get all the people who hurt them. Even though it’s hard I’m transitioning out of being one of those people. Do I believe in karma? Yes, I do, but I don’t think it’s my job to remind people of it. Especially since I do not get paid for it. It would be a miserable job to have. Sitting around waiting for someone to “get theirs” instead of getting my own shit together.

I remember venting to a friend last year about a former flame. I was terribly hurt by our situation. It was the most used I felt in a while. All I can remember was crying about it (to myself) and bitching about it. I grew tired of my own damn self and I had such a hard time just letting his ass go. I kept saying that he would get his karma because that was the only comfort I had at the time. To be honest, now that I think about it, it was not that comforting. No shit huh? I was so adamant that I was a good person and that I did not deserve the treatment he gave me. She politely told me that it was not my place to wish ill will on anyone regardless of what they did to me. Easier said than done huh? It stuck with me. She was right. I came across a quote recently that basically described karma as a boomerang. We all know how boomerangs work. You throw them out and they come right back to you. If you’re like me and you are clumsy, then you may get hit in the face. It’s good though because it’s a learning process. If you wish ill will on someone then it makes sense that it will most likely come back to you.

Hey, I’m not saying that we are all perfect. There are times, many times where I fall short and wish that most of the pain inflicted on me would be returned to the one who dished it. I am not completely innocent. I am not a victim. I was a willing participant. I allowed former flames to disrespect me, hurt me and mistreat me. Then I had the audacity to wish karma on them when I could have WALKED AWAY.

Instead of wishing karma on them now I pretty much just focus on myself. I’m less miserable because I’m not plotting their downfall or camped outside their houses with pitchforks. I’m better than that. They did me a favor. I no longer have to deal with toxicity and it feels damn good. Also, as a person who struggles with bouts of anxiety, it’s lessened. To be able to wish well on others after the drama is a calming feeling that I would not trade for anything in the world.

XoXo, LovePeaceMascara

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