How to make enemies out of your coworkers

STINKING UP THE BREAK ROOM 101

“I didn’t come here to make friends!” is the first thing we all scream when there is drama with a coworker. That’s cool and all, but you didn’t come here to make enemies either. We have all done it. By done it, I mean heating something up in the break room that made it smell very foul. I know I’ve done it and many times I ran straight out of the break room afterwards like a smooth criminal. Word to M.J! I am going to list the top food offenders to ever grace a break-room in the United States of America

FISH/SEAFOOD

This includes shrimp, tuna, sardines, lobster, tuna fish, codfish, tilapia fish, fishy fish, fish-fish in a dish how many fishes do you wish? It doesn’t matter because they all stink. I am definitely guilty of this and I always feel so bad when I have to heat fish in the microwave at work. My trick is to heat the fish up first, and then follow up with my side dishes so it masks the smell. Sometimes it works and other times, not so much.

A little West Indian/Caribbean trick is to wash your raw meat or seafood in vinegar and water. This removes the raw smell from it. I really hate the smell of fish. At one of my past jobs, I got some tilapia from the cafeteria. It made me so sick to my stomach because it smelled like it was just taken out of the ocean. I told my coworkers that it clearly had not been washed with vinegar/water…or at all and they all looked at me like I was crazy. I am telling you people, vinegar and water makes a big difference.

 

BROCCOLI

I LOVE BROCCOLI. I love it so much but broccoli tends to smell like dirty socks and rear end. We all know it. There’s nothing like walking into the break room and smelling good ole broccoli. The thing is I didn’t always notice that broccoli had an unpleasant smell until a few weeks ago. I am not sure why I was so oblivious. Interestingly enough I brought some to work for lunch today! *Maniacal laugh*

 

BOILED EGGS

You know what? I don’t even think I have to explain this. This probably should have been the FIRST item on this list. I have a love hate relationship with boiled eggs. Sometimes I love them and other times they make me so nauseous. NOTHING, I repeat nothing irritates me more than walking into the break room first thing in the morning to be greeted by the stench of boiled eggs. Boiled eggs smell like sulfur mixed with farts sprinkled with some trash. I even get mad at myself when I make them at home and it leaves that lingering stench. Can people just eat this at home?

 

BEETS

I’ve had beets a few times but when I did it was blended into my smoothie. I had a former coworker who would warm her beets in the microwave at work. The problem is that we were in a warehouse and the microwave was near everyone’s workstation. Needless to say, no one appreciated smelling it!

 

SPINACH (Cooked that is)

I LOVE SPINACHHH!!!! If I could eat it everyday, I would NOT! I’m just being a jerk but I really do love spinach. The problem is, spinach does not have a very appealing aroma. There was one time I heated it up at work then made a dash for the door before anyone walked in. Listen, I care about the break room. There have been times I had to make a U-turn out of it because of the stench of someone’s food.

 

ANYTHING WITH APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

I hate the stench of many things on this list but ACV takes the cake. I am currently on a weight loss mission and one of the things I’ve heard from friends is that drinking apple cider vinegar with water aids in weight loss. I feel very misled. I was told that the taste wasn’t the best but WHY OH WHY didn’t anyone inform me that it has the smell of a public restroom? That is just petty. I tried for 2 nights to drink it and that did not go too well. I tried to use it for other purposes but the smell is horrible. I cannot get past it. Sue me. Now I just use it in my clay masks.

 

Hot sauce

THIS. JUST. STINKS. It stinks all dang day too. A few days ago, I bought lunch at our workplace cafeteria. I don’t usually use hot sauce but some mythical creature possessed my body and I put hot sauce on my eggs. Fast-forward a few hours later and one of my coworkers visits me at my desk. “Do you smell hot sauce?” I asked with irritation only to find out it was coming from my trash can. I do have other co workers who eat hot sauce at their desks and you do smell it for hours ☹.

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